Letting Go – 4 !!

I lost an Irreplaceable person in my life ! Since that day, all that occurs in my mind is how life went from worrying abt a silly fight with a friend into a worry abt my father’s illness n now … his disappearance ! I mean how did I grow so old in the past three years ?! i guess i still look the same, act the same .. i guess i still do, but this does not effect the fact that i no longer feel the same ! I feel im old ! not aging old but something else. They say il ham ykaber, and i always thought they’re talking abt the way ppl with worries look like, black shades under their eyes bcoz of the lack of sleep n tiredness all over their face, skin n even their voice, but today i think i can understand this quote differently, il ham ykaber as u will feel old ! ur soul will grow old. The important question is why ? Is it bcoz we need to grow old to get tougher n stay stronger for living what has left of this life ? maybe it is, i guess god ynazil il bala2 w ynazil m3ah il ra7ma, w yimkn this is one way of ra7mat rabbi 3alena ! sub7an allah , wa7da el 3alim ib nfos il bashar w wa7da eli yigdar yr7amha w y5afif 3nha !

this is one of daddy’s Fav songs, one day while he was in the hos he told me ” Toona fi song abech t6al3enli eyaha ,,  ” He sang it for me 😉 then a while after that i forgot all abt it, He then actually picked up a paper n wrote it down for me n remind me later on to google it, i did n found it !! then upload it of my iphone n played it for him, kan wayd mindimiiij m3aha w y’3ani with a big smile on his Face 😉 seeing him happy was a blast for me , I admired his smile !

P.s if non of the above made sense to you, please excuse me i dont think it does for me either !